How Can I Help My Highly Emotional Child As They Enter School This Fall?
The end of summer is here, and we are all asking ourselves the same questions: Will my kid like their new teacher? Will that mean kid from last year be in her class? Will he be able to cope with the stressors that come with this new age/grade/situation?
Many of us wish we could actually see what school is like for our kids, and letting go of that control can make even the most seasoned parents feel extra stress as summer turns to fall. So, how can we empower our kids to use their strengths and skills when we aren’t there to remind them? Unfortunately, there’s no magic solution for this, but we have created a resource that you and your child can use to bolster their confidence and give them actionable steps to take this school year when things don’t go the way they expect.
Use this tool to have a conversation with your child about the good, the bad, and the coping. Need some tips on how to use this? Here’s how we use it in therapy:
I’m looking forward to… This is a space where we can identify a subject, event, or goal that your child is most looking forward to this year.
The best things about me are… Try to word this in a way that can double as a positive self-statement. For example “I am smart,” “I am a good student,” “I can do hard things.”
Situations that might be hard for me are… Failing to plan is planning to fail. We hope that our kids have a perfect year, but we also know what times and situations have been hard in the past. If your child has a hard time coming up with possible situations, you might write something like “Fighting with my friends,” “Not remembering my locker code,” or “Struggling with my math assignments.”
When I feel upset, I can… Here’s where we build our coping plan. Some ideas to include are: take a deep breath, remind myself that I can do hard things, ask my teacher for help, write down my questions and ask the teacher during a break, take a drink of water, go to the sensory room, or practice mindfulness.
The people who can help me are… While we may not know this right away, we can use general statements like “my teacher” or “the counselor.” Try to think of helpers that will be present during the school day, because relying on parents isn’t always realistic. Use this time as a conversation about when it would be appropriate to call you versus times that we can handle problems ourselves or with the help of a trusted adult.
Other things I want to remember… Feel free to get creative! We like to use this as one last chance for a confidence booster. Your child might add another coping statement, like “I am bold and courageous,” their favorite song lyric, or maybe YOU can write “mom and dad love you” or something you want them to remember while they’re away.
Print it, laminate it or put it in the front of their folder or binder, and encourage your child to reference it when needed. If you use this tool, let us know what you think!
