How Do I Talk to My Children about a Highly Contentious Presidential Election?

As a child psychologist and a parent, I understand that talking about the presidential election can feel daunting. Young children are often curious about the world around them, and current events like an election can spark their interest—or anxiety. 

My children often come home and tell me about the conversations that they have with their peers. Recently, I’ve heard, “My friend said that [Candidate] is a bad person,” and “My friends and I got into an argument about who should be president.” 

While it is tempting to ignore such a stressful and confusing topic, our children are learning information from their peers every day and sharing your family’s discussions and beliefs with their peers. A parent is their child’s primary role model, and we are their guide to confusing topics. Here are some strategies to help you engage with your children about the upcoming election in a way that is informative, age-appropriate, and reassuring.

Start with the Basics

Begin by explaining what a presidential election is in simple terms. You might say, “In our country, we choose a leader every four years. This leader helps make decisions about laws and how to help our communities.” Use language they can relate to, like choosing a team captain or a group leader. Explain the democratic process and how every vote matters in deciding who becomes the president. Discuss the importance of a democracy and how there are many people who are elected to represent us, like senators and members of congress.  

Encourage Questions

Create an open environment where your child feels comfortable asking questions. They might be curious about why people vote or what a president does. Respond patiently and honestly, keeping your explanations age-appropriate. If you don’t know the answer, it’s perfectly fine to say, “That’s a great question! Let’s find out together.” Be careful not to use accusatory language or inflammatory statements. When you do, you can be sure that your child will share that information with their friends at school. 

Keep It Neutral

In the current election year, it is hard to keep emotions at bay when watching the news and discussing politics… but think about the way that children learn. They watch TV shows that reflect “good” and “evil,” “villains” and “heroes,” and situations where there is a clear right and a clear wrong. 

While you may think that one candidate is a clear choice, you have the ability to understand the nuance of all of the aspects of voting for a presidential candidate. Your child does not yet have that ability and may experience significant distress if the candidate that is reflected as “bad” or “evil” is put in charge of the country. 

Politics are a way to teach children about commonalities between people (i.e., “We all want a stronger economy”) as well as the nuances (i.e., “Different political parties and candidates have different ideas about how to make the economy stronger.”). If your child asks and you feel that it is appropriate, you can share who you plan to vote for and why, but do so in a way that speaks of the qualities you want to see in a leader, rather than insulting the opposing viewpoint.

Address Emotions

Elections can be a source of anxiety for both adults and children. If your child expresses worry, validate their feelings. You might say, “I understand that this can be confusing or scary. It’s normal to have those feelings.” Reassure them that many people are working to make good choices for the future, and that no matter the results of an election, you will be there to support them and protect them. 

If they express anger toward candidates or other people related to the election, remind them that we are all people and the job of the president is a big one. The reason we feel so strongly about the election is because we want to make the best choice, but there is a reason why elections happen every 4 years. When something happens that we don’t like, we can be resilient and continue to work on making our country the best it can be. Good sportsmanship means being a good loser and a good winner. 

Highlight the Importance of Participation

Teach your children about the importance of voting and civic engagement. Explain that even if they can’t vote now, they can be part of the conversation by learning about issues and discussing them with family and friends. You can say, “When you grow up, you’ll get to vote and help make decisions for our country!” Take them with you to vote and allow them to learn as much as they are interested in. 

Stories are a powerful way to illustrate concepts. Share age-appropriate books or stories about democracy, voting, or even historical figures who made a difference. Discussing characters who faced challenges can help children understand the importance of civic engagement. 

Make It Fun

Consider creative activities that engage your children in the election process. You could create a mock election at home, letting them vote on fun family decisions (like dinner choices or movie nights). This not only teaches them about voting but also fosters a sense of participation.

Encourage Reflection

Allow your child to freely express their thoughts about civic issues and ask them reflective questions. For example, If you were president, what would you do to make the country a better place? What do you think would be fun about being president? What do you think might be hard about being president? If you could pick someone in our family or friend group to be the president, who would it be? What do you think are the best qualities a president should have?

Talking to your child about the presidential election is an opportunity to instill values of curiosity, critical thinking, and civic responsibility. By approaching the topic with openness and flexibility, you can help them navigate this important aspect of our society in a positive way. Remember, the goal is not just to inform but to empower your child to think critically about the world around them. 

Dr. Jenna Wallace is a licensed clinical child psychologist and parent of 3 who specializes in the assessment and treatment of neurodevelopmental differences and early childhood development.