Understanding gifted children: Using strengths to overcome challenges
Introduction: As a child psychologist, I often see gifted kids who are misunderstood or not fully supported, both in school and at home. While many parents and teachers want to help these children, they don’t always know how to best support their unique strengths and needs. Understanding what makes gifted children unique is the first step in helping them thrive.
Gifted kids can be confusing! They have remarkable abilities, but they also face struggles that can significantly impact their well-being. Balancing their strengths with their areas for growth can help both educators and parents nurture their overall development and help them to become well-rounded people.
What is Giftedness? Let’s start by discussing what makes a child “gifted.” The definition of giftedness can vary depending on who you ask, but generally, a gifted child is someone who shows exceptional ability or skill in one or more areas, such as intellectual, creative, artistic, or leadership abilities.
In academic settings, gifted students are often identified through IQ tests, standardized academic assessments, teacher observations, and parental input. Gifted students typically score in the 98th-99th percentile on these tests.
Although giftedness is not explicitly defined as a category under the Individuals with Disabilities Education Act (IDEA), some states and school districts offer specialized support for gifted children through Gifted and Talented Education (GATE) programs. In certain cases, gifted students may even receive Individualized Education Programs (IEPs) to ensure they are adequately challenged in school.
Twice-exceptional students, or “2e” children, are those who are both gifted and have an identified disability, such as learning disabilities, ADHD, or autism. These children may require specialized support to address both their intellectual gifts and their behavioral or emotional challenges.
Giftedness can show up in many ways, from academic excellence in subjects like math and reading to unique talents in music, art, or leadership.
Common Misconceptions About Gifted Children:
Misconception 1: Gifted Children are Always Successful in School: Just because a child is gifted does not mean they will excel in every situation. Sometimes, the right environment or teaching style is needed for success.
Misconception 2: Gifted Children Don’t Need Support: Gifted children may face social, emotional, or academic struggles if their needs are not met. Support is crucial to their overall development.
Misconception 3: Gifted Children Have It Easy: Gifted children often face immense pressure, both from external expectations and their internal desire to meet high standards. Their struggles can sometimes go unnoticed.
Common Strengths of Gifted Children: Gifted children often exhibit a range of strengths that set them apart. Here are some common traits:
Advanced Cognitive Abilities: Gifted children think quickly and solve problems in complex ways. They grasp new concepts easily and are curious, driven to explore subjects in depth.
Creative Thinking: Many gifted children are highly creative, offering original solutions to problems and excelling in artistic or innovative fields.
Exceptional Memory: Gifted children often have remarkable memories, allowing them to recall details from books, conversations, or experiences with ease.
Heightened Sensitivity: Gifted children may be emotionally aware and sensitive, picking up on others’ feelings and expressing themselves thoughtfully.
Leadership and Independence: These children often show leadership qualities, taking charge in group settings and displaying a sense of responsibility and independence.
Common Challenges Gifted Children Face: Despite their strengths, gifted children also face unique challenges. Here are a few common struggles:
Social Isolation: Gifted children may feel out of place with peers due to differences in intellectual abilities or interests. They can struggle to relate to children of the same age who don’t share their cognitive or emotional development.
Perfectionism and High Expectations: Gifted children often set very high standards for themselves, leading to stress, anxiety, or frustration when they fall short. The fear of failure can cause some children to avoid challenges altogether.
Boredom and Lack of Challenge: If their educational needs aren’t met, gifted children may become bored or disengaged. Without sufficient stimulation, they might act out or disrupt class to cope with their lack of challenge.
Emotional Intensity: Gifted children often experience intense emotions, which can lead to frustration, anxiety, or even depression. This emotional intensity can sometimes be difficult for both the child and their parents to manage.
Perceived as “Different”: Gifted children may feel misunderstood by teachers, peers, or even family members, leading to feelings of alienation or low self-esteem.
How Parents Can Support Their Gifted Child:
Foster Their Curiosity: Allow your child to explore their interests deeply. Provide books, activities, and experiences that nurture their intellectual and creative curiosity.
Encourage Socialization with Peers: Help your gifted child find other children with similar interests. Extracurricular activities or gifted programs can offer opportunities for like-minded peers. Focus on quality friendships, helping your child form meaningful connections.
Create a Balanced Approach to Perfectionism: Encourage your child to see mistakes as learning opportunities and to focus on growth rather than perfection. Praise their effort and resilience, not just the end result. Help them set realistic goals and celebrate their progress.
Advocate for Appropriate Educational Challenges: Work with teachers to ensure your child is appropriately challenged in the classroom. If necessary, explore enrichment programs or accelerated learning options. Small modifications, like allowing extra time for challenging tasks or offering independent study, can make a significant difference.
Provide Emotional Support: Recognize that gifted children often have heightened emotional sensitivities. Be supportive as they navigate complex feelings, and remember that their emotional well-being is just as important as their intellectual growth. Teach them coping strategies for emotional regulation and provide a safe, non-judgmental space for them to express their feelings.
Allow Them to Struggle: It’s natural to want to protect your child from frustration, but struggling with something can help them grow. Whether it’s learning a new skill or facing a challenge, teach them that growth often comes from moments of discomfort.
Conclusion: Gifted children need a balanced, supportive approach that nurtures their strengths and addresses their challenges. Parents, teachers, and caregivers should work together to help these children feel understood, supported, and encouraged to thrive both academically and emotionally. By recognizing their unique needs, we can help gifted children unlock their full potential.
Dr. Jenna Wallace is a licensed child psychologist who specializes in the assessment, diagnosis, and treatment of neurodevelopmental differences and disabilities.
